I feel like Im on the biggest search of my life. To discover or reveal. Although Im not entirely sure where Im headed, or what exactly, Im looking for. A sense of self, perhaps? Proximity? Reassurance? Alliance? Anything, but alienation, continuous undue movement, unsettlement and discomfort. Anything within the boundaries of balance and equilibrium would be more than satisfying and even slightly grounding.
Im not sure where Im headed, if Im going back, whats right (or wrong), if there is a “right” or “wrong”, or even whats best, and its hard to trust current emotions and intuition given where Im at, and have been driven these last few years.
For now though, I guess being satisfied with the stability of floating, and not sinking is tolerable at the same time as being satisfying and slightly terrifying at the thought of where the path could lead us next.